Gravity

Objectively, time is experienced the same by everybody, yet subjectively there are subtle differences on how it's experienced.  I personally experience time in seconds, hours, days, months and years.  Yet other people see their life only in months.  This particular view of time makes it highly probably that they will always be late for everything.  Now it's not impossible for MONTH-ONLY (or monther) people to be on time, just highly unlikely (get your calculator ready - see uncle calculator if you missed it).

There are 60 minutes in a hour, 1440 minutes in a day and 44640 minutes in a month.  This allows somebody like myself who experiences individual minutes to have 44640 measures of time to 1 measure of time for a "monther".  If you could bet on which type of person would be on time, the odds would be 44640:1, which also happens to be the same odds as the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to win the Grey Cup.

But why is a monther always late and never early?  For the answer, I went to my wife who has a lifetime of experiencing months only.  She finally heard the question a week later and I was eventually given an answer in three weeks.  As it turns out, she has no idea what I'm talking about.

The reason why a monther must always be late and never early is because it's a law, similar to the law of gravity and really bad Winnipeg football teams.